I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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