I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
