I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize