i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
