i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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