writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
