Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
