I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
