Non-Jews are for practice
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
