I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
