We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
