at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
