I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
