Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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