he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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