Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
