Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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