Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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