When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
