In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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