Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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