But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
