i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
