Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize