How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im holly from the hills drunk
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
