watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
