And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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