Ambien. No doubt about it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize