Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
