tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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