In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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