morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I need to align my fucking chakras
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