..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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