He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
