i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
