It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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