my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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