So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
