Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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