Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize