I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
