You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
