I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
