So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
