did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize