Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is the high leading the old right now
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
