why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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