my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
