I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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