Got a toothbrush?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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