i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
