Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How does it feel to date your dad?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
