She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
