I skipped work to stalk him.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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