i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
