god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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