That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
