Do you still have your period?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize