i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize