i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
