Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
